1. So, I should start off with explaining why I didn't post on Tuesday, right? Here it is: I had the worst weekend that turned into the worst week. Okay, well, not the worst that could ever happen, but in a pretty bad place mentally. Really rough. I was pretty depressed, irritated, just felt really bad and useless. I was tearing myself apart and being really critical. Emotionally, I was all over the place. I couldn't shake the negativity I was feeling. Everything was bothering me, and I couldn't change how I was feeling no matter how much I wanted (and, oh, how I wanted).
But, there is an up side. I am feeling mostly like myself again (better, even) after a week of all of that. It feels so good to not feel like my brain was locked in a tiny white, claustrophobic box without a way out! I know we all have those days. We don't feel good enough or strong enough to handle all of the emotions, everything going on in our lives. Almost daily I have to recite Jeremiah 29:11 just to keep myself going. God has a great plan for me and for you. You'll get through it. Promise. It may not feel like it now, but everything will work out in the end. Something that looks like a burden at the time might actually be a blessing. But, you should still pray about it.
2. When I realized I hadn't wrote anything to publish Tuesday, I kind of freaked out. I kind of had something, but it wasn't going to work out. I didn't want to pretend I was better than I was. Anyways, I went searching for inspiration (or just something to put up) through old blog posts I never published. You would not believe how many blog posts never got published. I have something, like, 28 posts started in my drafts. They range from just titles to practically finished. Oops... I guess there was something stopping me from putting them out for the world to read. Not sure what. I really honestly don't know. Some of said drafts are completely irrelevant now, but some of them have potential to make it up on the blog. Once I finish them, of course.
3. Along with some of my old blog post ideas, I have been thinking of new ideas. First, I have an idea for a series. I'm not sure if anything will come of it. It will be titled: Just A Girl if I decide to pursue the idea. Also, it would take my blog in a bit of a different direction than anything I've done before. It has me really excited. Second, I would really like to do more poetry and personal writing. It would kind of fit in with the new series. The only problem is that I'm not sure where to really start with this. I used to do this all the time with ease. The words would just pour out of me and end up on the paper. Not so much now, although I still write in the notebook dedicated to letters to my (now) ex boyfriend. Don't judge. I'm actually considering posting some of my extremely personal thoughts I have wrote in it. But I'm a little scared. But I think it will also be good for me and help me to connect with my readers on another level. So torn!
4. On a lighter note, it happens to be birthday weekend (Yay for cake!). My family celebrates all the birthdays in one month at the same party. Most of the time anyways. Autumn happens to hold most of the birthdays in my family. Here's the rundown of all the birthdays my family is celebrating this month in order:
-my aunt Betsy, the 14th
-cousin Hannah, the 17th
-Dad, the 21st
-brother Zach, also the 21st
-cousin Andrew, the 24th
Is that it? Umm, let me check Facebook real quick. That's it as far as I know! And for those of you wondering what I decided to give my brother as I mentioned worrying about in a previous five, he's getting five bucks in a card. He's hard to buy for, okay? At least I'm making the card myself.
5. Gosh, I really don't have a five for today. This post is pretty long anyway, so I'll just say goodbye now. Goodbye! See you Lovelies Tuesday.
HW<3
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