Honest To Goodness

Hello, Lovelies

There's no school today due to the ratchet wind chill at negative 30, so I thought I would do a post about how I really feel. No sugar coating. Digging a little deeper. Down to the nitty-gritty. Whichever way you want to say it, there it is. 

Despite how great Christmas vacation was to Virginia to see my family for two weeks, despite everything, I just don't feel how I should. I'm stressed out because of school and exams/projects due. I am so nervous for the ACT this March and I don't feel like I have any friends no matter what people keep saying. Everyone is constantly reminding me how I need to get my licence and to do that I need to drive to get the 47 hours I am currently lacking. Plus I haven't drove since school started in September. I just HATE driving and no one really gets that, I guess. Most likely, my brother is going to end up with his licence before I get mine. I turn 17 in February, he turns 16 in September. 
That's all not to mention the fact the my trip to the United Kingdom this summer is about to be cancelled. We, meaning my family, doesn't have the money and fundraising is doing nothing for me. Right now the only way I will be able to go is if I get the full scholarship from the contest announced tomorrow or someone donated about seven thousand dollars to my trip fund. Both of these are very, very slim chances and I'm not banking on either one. Whoa. Great to be honest isn't it? 

To Be Wanted by Plug In Stereo just came on my Pandora. It about sums up how I feel right now. Why not give it a listen? Here's the link. Plug In Stereo is a great band, and I just love Trevor Dahl's voice. 

Something else I just remembered. I have been thinking lately about how I have never had a proper birthday party. That's what I want for my birthday this year. Family, friends (despite how I lack in this particular category), cake, decorations, presents, the works. You know, I have never had friends over for a birthday party. Well I guess that is half a lie. In eight grade I invited some 'friends' over to my house. It ended in disaster. Literally. They trashed my room, a girl showed up who I didn't invite, I slept on the couch. I guess I never really forgave them for the horrid night. Maybe someday.

What else? Well, the night of my birthday is the glow-coming double header basketball game. And I have to go. That also means the dance is the next day. Although, I'm not completely committed on going at the moment. I haven't bought a dress, I don't have a date. I really don't have to go if I don't want to. Something to think about. The good thing about that weekend is that it is three days long. 
Prom on the other hand is something I want to go to... with a date. If I don't I will still be going, but I will be sitting by myself at a table feeling like an idiot. But I have a wonderful dress already that fits the theme perfect. Mascaraed. 

One last thing I thought to include. My New Year's resolution is to start running/exercising. I hardly ever exercise and although I'm vegetarian that doesn't mean I'm healthy. I think that I will actually run today sometime. Yeah. I think I will.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Sorry for the rant. Just something I had to say. Besides, who really read this blog? This lonely teenage girl is signing off.

HW<3