In Just Two Short Weeks...

...I will be starting as a college freshman at FSU. I'm nervous and excited for my first day of classes and finding a part time job to help with the many college costs.

I have declared myself as a pre-nursing major in hopes of making to the professional sequence, graduation, and beyond. My ten year plan also involves me eventually becoming a Certified Nurse Midwife, but we'll see. I need to make it through my first semester of college first. Or even my first day.

While at first I was only excited for my new start at college, I now find myself getting more and more anxious about the whole situation. I can't help but feel this way when I am spending money, buying fancy books, and having them arrive in the mail. Flipping through them is causing me more worry than anything else.

There was a reason I didn't take chemistry in high school. Multiple reasons, actually, but the main being that something just never clicked in my mind. It just doesn't make sense to me 95% of the time. Now, I am starting college, and I have multiple chemistry and biology classes mandatory for my major. I can almost feel my dreams slipping away before I have even had a chance to prove myself. My mind has already wandered to the possibilities of what I might do as a college dropout.

To be completely honest, it is kind of a miracle in itself that I've even made it this far in the college journey. Not to say that I nor my family members aren't smart and capable, but my parents didn't make it to college. My sister hasn't yet either. I know everyone has always had high hopes for me (I was called stupid by some for not starting last year, straight out of high school), but I may not be what everyone hoped. I've constantly had to prove myself. This is just going to be another one of those times. To sink or swim? Bend or break?

I'm sure there are many other college freshmen feeling the same way I am. Too bad I don't know any. There's something, too. How does one make friends? In college specifically? I don't have any friends, and I feel like even a couple going through the same general beginning of college stresses as I would help me feel just a little more at ease.

What's a girl to do? For now I will just be here reading through my textbooks and thinking up what to wear for my first day of classes.

HW<3